Mommy Friends

One of the perks to being a new mom is not only having my little Millie around, but also having new friends.  It's just like when I was single and I would meet another single girl and we would immediately click and start hanging out.  Well, now if I meet another mom with a baby it's the same thing.  I love it!  Millie and I can just be browsing around Target and all of the sudden I am talking to another mom.  Moms notice other moms.  Moms sympathize with other moms on the no sleep thing.  I have noticed that the sleep question is usually one of the first questions moms ask me.  "How is she sleeping?"  And when I tell them about her very long phase she is going through of waking up every 3-4 hrs, they genuinely feel bad for me and I feel better just knowing someone else has gone through it.  Thank goodness for the internet and meet up groups!  Sometimes I feel so alone out here because all of my friends are 30 minutes away.  This is why I joined the a Mamas meetup group.  It's nice getting to know moms that are close by.  I know some of these women and their babies might become longtime friends of Millie and me. I'm looking forward to watching her make friends (once she actually cares to make friends) while I'm making friends too.

No sleep makes me crazy

I forget what I walked into a room for.  I trip on things.  Yesterday, I tripped and fell in a movie theater. ha! I feel like a walking zombie sometimes.  My parents are here to help so I feel myself getting back to normal.  They leave tomorrow and I think Justin and I are going to attempt letting baby Millie cry it out.    I talked to several people at a party on July 4 that said it only took their baby a couple of nights of CIO before their baby started sleeping longer.  I hope it only takes one night!  It's so painful to hear my baby cry for very long, but at this point we have to do something.  I'll be going back to work in a month so we need to fix this sleep problem before then.  Today she has her 4 month doctor appointment, so maybe the doctor will have some suggestions.

Information overload-Babywise? 90 minute sleep cycle?

There are so many different books about how to get your baby to sleep better.  I read babywise and thought it was a great book.  I definitely would not start using the strict "crying it out"(letting the baby cry and figure out how to fall asleep without your assistance) until 3 months or later, but the scheduling-sleep, eat, wake- is very helpful for me as a new mom.  I thought the scheduling was working and getting my baby to sleep longer, but then she stopped doing so well.  I started a new book yesterday.  This book is written by a sleep specialist.  It's called the 90 minute baby sleep program.  So far, I'm liking it.  The author says that we all have a 90 minute alert cycle, and the best time for a baby to go to sleep is at the end of that 90 minutes or the alert cycle will start over and you will have a harder time getting the baby to sleep.  I definitely see this every day with my baby (and my ADHD husband).  In summary, the author of the 90 minute sleep program talks about noticing signs of your baby being tired and noting the time of the baby's last time waking up in order to figure out the end of the baby's alert cycle.  The author also talks about "crying it out", but calls it "controlled crying" and says that if you follow the 90 minute cycle routine for sleeping,  you will not have to deal with the "controlled crying" much longer than 15 minutes and only 3 days on average.  It's interesting how this book suggests you to help your baby to sleep with rocking, etc., and the  Babywise book says rocking your baby to sleep is not good, because the baby will not learn to sleep on his own.  The 90 minute sleep program says the baby needs help getting to sleep until 6 months.  There are so many books with different ideas and advice.  It's great that moms have this information, but sometimes it gets overwhelming and we, well at least me, get caught up in techniques and what's right and wrong that we lose a day of just enjoying our babies.

When will I get to sleep again?

At about two months of age, Emilia started to sleep about 5-7 hours a night.  I was elated.  This was heaven to me, so I had no complaints.  Unfortunately, this 5-7 hours a night was happening in her swing.  No, the swing wasn't swinging her to sleep.  She just really liked the cozy cradle-like swing.  At her two months doctor appointment her pediatrician tells me that I really need to get her sleeping in the crib before 4 months, because it will be more difficult after that point.  Well, I waited until 3 months to start her sleeping in her crib, and it's been a battle ever since.  She has had a few nights in the last three weeks of 5 hours and one night that she actually slept 7 hours. Of course the one night she sleeps 7 hours straight is when my husband was taking care of her!  The rest of the nights she is waking up every 3 hours.  It's like she is a newborn again!  It's painful for me.  I want to throw myself out the window sometimes, because I'm so frustrated that she keeps waking up.  And yeah, sometimes I want to shake her with frustration, but I don't.  Every time I would see an ad or hear someone say "never shake a baby" I thought to myself...Who would shake a baby?!   Well, now I know how close parents can get to this point without even realizing it.  And after talking to other mothers, I'm not alone.  This week has been especially bad, because I think she is starting the teething process.  I didn't know it would happen this early, but I see some signs: drooling, slight fever, pooping a lot and fussiness. How long does this teething process last?  I'm not seeing any teeth emerge.  I'm tired, exhausted, and worn down.  I'm just a better mom when I've had sleep.  I really shouldn't complain, because I don't have a baby with colic. I hear that can be rough.  She is happy most of the time and for that I am thankful, but please let me sleep more than 3 hours in a row very soon.  I'll even take 4 hours! What is really sad is that even if she does sleep more than 3 hours, I will wake up during her normal wake time and will not be able to go back to sleep.  I start waiting and expecting her to wake up soon and sometimes this can last an hour of two.  That is one hour too many of wasted sleep time for this tired mom.  Tonight, I will again be hopeful that tonight is the night that she and I will both sleep through the night.  Wish me luck!

I can't believe I'm a mom.

I said this to myself over and over in disbelief the first month of my baby's life, "I'm a mom.  Is this real?  No way! How did this tiny human being grow inside me?" I couldn't believe that this precious baby was what was living in me and causing my body so much pain.   I never could picture myself giving birth or being a mom, even though I wanted to be one.  I knew I wanted to be one as soon as I hit my twenties.  Then I had an idea in my head that I would have a child by the time I was twenty-eight.  Well, when year twenty-eight came around and I was not in the place of having a kid or even wanting one, I came up with another idea.  If I'm not married and on my way to having kids by the age of thirty-five, then I am going to start the adoption process on my own.   I met my husband at age 30 and we got married 2 1/2 years ago (age 33). I gave birth at age 35 and here I am, the mother of a 16 week old.  Wow!  I love being a mom.